i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
