my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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