I want to have your abortion
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize