I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
