Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
