I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
