YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
