i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So many bounce houses so little time
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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