yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize