Little spoons don't ask big questions
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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