A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
