If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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