She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
