Just fell off a train. Bad.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
