she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
