I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my being single is dangerous.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize