tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
