I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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