for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize