sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she peed on how many people?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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