It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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