Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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