Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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