Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
