You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
