Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
