you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize