You're so nebulous sometimes
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
