you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
