I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
