he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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