This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
