Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I checked into jail on foursquare
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
