Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
