dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
