Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
