So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
