i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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