Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
