Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
