so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
