Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
