Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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