What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
