can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
