It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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