Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Randomize
