so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize