my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
