Buhtt sex?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Edward fifth and chaser hands
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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