you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dignity is for republicans.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
