My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
