Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
