Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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