I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
