its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
