Say something about gay babies.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
