Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
