I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
