Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
