she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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