I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
