oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
