i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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