The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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