someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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