im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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