I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
