our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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