Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
