I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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