it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I need water and some morals
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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