these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
